So now I am looking at my radically different life. I went from upper middle class to near poverty level. I live with two roommates. I moved from my four bedroom 2750 sq ft home to a single bedroom. I realize that my job is not going to really be able to financially support me. I am now planning to go to graduate school. I am actually considering law school yet am scared to consider such a move.
Spiritually I am not as angry at God as I was in my last post. However my approach to the Divine is less childlike and naive. I do not see Deity as safe nor like Santa Claus in the least. Deity contains life and death, blessing and curse, light and dark within it.
These six months have changed me, inside and out. I feel more out of control of my destiny, routines, and structures than I ever had. I am nervous to say the least. Yet I do have hope.